i'm mollie and i'll only call you when im high

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Baby, just make sure you’re doing the drugs and the drugs aren’t doing you
30 year old woman I did cocaine with over the summer (via satan-clit) ←

sigurrossgeller:

pleatedjeans:

Seal with a data-logger on it’s head. [x]

"I’ve got a fuckin data logger on my head"

"I know lmao"

Don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment, it’s a competition none of us agreed to.
"You’re not like other girls." Shut the fuck up. (via cutely-perverted) ←

dopematters:

Nailed it!

plants-are-life:

Me after summer break. 

lameboob:

lameboob:

lameboob:

how do you make someone holy

you beat the hell out of them

my 96 year old catholic grandma told me this joke

bromar:

*goes to england*

me: excuse me, what time is it?

brit: time wots that m8?

*big ben chimes*

everyone starts to count the bongs on their fingers*

brit: OI IT’S 7 BONG

hbunot:

how would you even start sex like kiss kiss oh ok look im inside you

sleeve:

late night breakdowns are my speciality

runyoucleverboyandremember:

"if you’re so stressed out from school why don’t you just study more or take fewer classes??"

image

itsspookytoremember:

there are people on this website with children

there are people on this website who have their life together

there are people on this website who are award winning novelists

today i tried to smile at someone with water in my mouth and almost died

beyoncescock:

new years resolutions:

  • get skinny
  • get hot
  • get rich